Sharing Thoughts

I miss you, but…

Dear you,

I wish things were different. I desperately want things to be different. I will want for things to be different in the future… For a while, at least.

Since the problems started, I held out hope that we would find a way if we tried hard enough. If we fought hard enough. If we gave it all we had. That’s not the case, though….

Everything in me screams that there is another chance for us out there. And I’d love to cling to that idea. If I did, then I could – possibly- reach out to you and bring that chance to life. Yet, the sandness is like a weight on me.

There are memories and moments I will hold dear and close to my heart. Our connection, the ease in which we opened up to each other. We had chemistry. And I will always remember the man I met that first day. The walks by the river. The bad jokes. The first kiss and the plans we made… I will remember every time I heard the three magic words and how you made me feel, even though you did not mean it… As it would seem.

I do not hate you, though. Even when you ripped my heart out and crushed it with a few single words. But that is when I knew this relationship was over and the last two weeks were nothing. We simply tried over and over again… We tried for something that had ended.

I miss you more than you could ever imagine. I still pick up the phone and I want to reach out. I want to tell you about everything that is happening in my day… I want to hear your voice.

I know it’s alright for me to miss you because whatever we had, how ever long it lasted, was strong and beautiful.

So please, know that I miss you, I love you and I will always have you in my heart.

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