Sharing Thoughts

Some reminders for being Single.

Now, what I am about to type further down this post, I have given it quite some thought! Experience has helped me too, over the last few years.

This year’s Holidays are different. Thanks to a pandemic, many people will probably not make it back to families or friends. Restrictions are everywhere and some are pretty tough. Those that get to return to their homes and be with loved one – family as it is important – can also be given the titles of the “Lucky Ones”. However, being single during the holidays, no matter where you are really, can be a slightly bad feeling. It depends, though, on how you see things.

Sure, the holidays are all about spending time with your loved ones. That can be, or must be, your family. Your friends if you can or even your coworkers. It can be your pets if you have any. It doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship with a man or a woman during this time of the year. In the end of the day, you still have people who love you.

Maybe your siblings or cousins or anyone from your family are getting married next year. Or maybe they are married. Maybe they even have children already. Maybe the younger generations are in love and are obsessed with kissing under the mistletoe. But does it matter? Their life isn’t yours and you cannot match your own timeline with anyone else’s. There is no competition here! You should be happy for others but also happy that you are there, healthy.

I’ve been the receiver of comments such as “Oh, that’s a pity that you do not have someone yet”… Talking from experience, you mustn’t allow others to make you feel insecure about your relationsthip status. Sure, relatives might ask you about your love life during dinner and others will encourage you – maybe even push you – into settling down finally. But that’s their opinion and it should stay as that. Don’t feel bad for being alone. A relationship is not THE most important thing in the worl, afterall.

The holidays are the best time of the year to sit back and go into this phase of “Netflix and Chill”. I’ve done it plenty of times, I am sure you do too every year. But there is the bad side of this past time. Netflix, especially during the festive season, is full of those romantic cheesy movies with the Christmas theme. They are perfect to watch with popcorn or a mug of hot cocoa in your hands. Around this time of the year, it’s hard to avoid such things and the numerous love songs. But reality is quite messy. Reality isn’t like those films. So don’t go around comparing your life with what you see on the big screen because, I am sorry to tell you, but life is never going to be like that.

And you get upset, right? It’s okay to be upset. Even if you are a strong independent person. You have every right to feel lonely from time to time, even more so during this festive season. You are allowed to be a bit jealous. You are allowed to want the romance and the kissing under the mistletoe tradition. Even if you are happy being single during the rest of the year, you are not going to be happy even second. And that is perfectly alright!

There might be times that you feel like the only one who is sad during the holidays. Believe me when I say, you are not the only one. A lot of people are probably in the same situation. A lot of people are left out and lonely. As I’ve said, not everyone can spend this holiday season with family or friends. And even if they do so, they might still feel a bit lonely.

The main goal for such a holiday is to have fun. You really don’t need a relationship to have fun! Even thought you don’t have any mistletoe hanging around the house or anyone to kill when the ball drops at the end of the year, you can still enjoy the eggnog and swap gifts with others. Nothing is stopping you from putting on a beautiful smile, your fancy clothes and dance to the music!

In the end, much can happen in a year. So much! Right now, you might feel like you are going to be single forever. But this time in a year, you might be in a completely different situation. Just think how much can change in the course of 12 months! Don’t give up hope. This Christmas might be rough, extra rought now, but next Christmas might be the best one yet.

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