It was all quick… I feel in love with you so quickly. So unconditionally. So unexpectedly. Now, I consider myself a fool for believing you could love me back just as much. What I felt for you was the most beautiful thing, but expecting all that back at the same level was my downfall.
I hadn’t been that lucky before. I hadn’t felt that little spark of it and I didn’t know what love was. I had come close, I am certain of it. Until I met you. Being with you, this instensity, this beautiful feeling, proved I had come to experience what love truly was. However, life is so unfair at times… And life loves torturing us, the pure souls, who give all to something or somebody. Now, once I had it, I couldn’t let it go.
A little hidden part of me wants to believe I will feel it again one day. But the other part of me is scared. Because no matter how great this felt, coming down from that high was far worse. It was soul crashing. It was this hallow feeling I felt while I was walking away from yor place for the very last time. I don’t want that again. I wouldn’t wish on anybody to feel so empty and incomplete.
Loving you was rather easy for me. It was true but easy. I came naturally to me, like that was the way things were supposed to be anyway. It’s like I had found where I belonged. With you.
Maybe you loving me was difficult. I am a difficult one as it is. It must have been more work than you were willing to put in in the end.
Still, I stayed with you and you stayed with me. May love grew even more… You knew that. And I loved you too much to even consider leaving.
Well, you are gone now and this is gone. But what about me? I am trapped in a little cage, in this little life, with the key just a few inches away from me. I could set myself free and move on at some point, but I’d rather not do that without you. That’s why I am still sitting here alone, praying you might come back one day. You have to come back.
Truth it, I am still hoping there’s another chance for us. I am still counting on your texts. Your calls. Your presence at my door. And I would give you my all again. I’d give you anything. For one more chance to be with you.
I can relate to this. My boyfriend and I broke up but after a 4 years we got back together and got married after 2 years.
I am happy to hear that it worked out well for you!!!
Heartbreak is a very intense feeling.. I remember i had to endure for about 2 years until I reached to a point where I can truly say to myself that I am happy even when I am not in a relationship. Since then I enjoyed dating myself, finding myself whole again and enjoying fun times and adventures with some of my girl friends circle. I’ve learned to forgivene him and myself as well. Then the unexpected thing happen. Setting oneself free is important but to reach there we have to go through grieving as well and express it in a healthy way for example, blogging or art. Right 😉